Solitude

He prepared this breakfast for her a couple of weeks ago. What do you know. She’s so kilig with the gesture that she made it her primary photo in a social networking site. And she loves it whenever someone asks her about the photo.

Ahh, love.

Women really go crazy when they’re in love. I was once in that situation so I know. Are you crazy in love right now?

She is crazy in love. She can’t stop talking about her man. In her stories, the man is like a hero, a prince charming, and a demigod rolled into one. I know the truth, though. He isn’t.

It’s a chronic thing, this way of worshiping the man of the day. She’s been like that for years. And when the novelty fades, she realizes what a fool she was for even saying the man’s name with a lilt in her voice. It’s a chronic love problem, in my opinion. It’s a cycle. Like right now, she’s in love once again. And the guy can do no wrong once again.

She once called me up asking if I think the guy is not just taking her for a ride. I asked her why she suddenly thought of it but she just ignored me. I told her that she thought of that because there’s something disturbing her. She just ignored me again. Fine. I do think that the guy might be a player. Another friend of ours thinks so, too. I do pray we’re both wrong. That the guy is also in love with her. She deserves to be happy. She deserves to be loved by a man who will take care of her and respect her for who she is.

But the craziness of worshiping a man needs to stop. I just don’t know how to tell her to.

It’s so hard to distinguish a person who’s just after what you can offer physically versus the one who’s out for the long haul.

Hannah’s going out with someone right now. He’s a friend who’s been dropping hints that he has the hots for her for quite some time now. Since she’s single and hasn’t been dating for over a year already, she thought why not give it a try? They’ve been out on five dates and every time he gets her alone in a corner or somewhere dimly lit or inside the car, he would pounce on her like he couldn’t control himself. She’s afraid that he’s just after sex and then would move on after the novelty wears off. She knows he’s not like that but her fear won’t subside.

Instinct might be telling her something. She’s holding off and he’s patiently waiting.

How do you go on dates with your cyber boyfriend? You surf the net together! And chat, chat, chat!

My friend and her boyfriend who lives in another country chats every day. They see each other through Skype as often as they can. They talk on the phone, send text messages to each other, leaves offline IMs… and I know it’s still not enough. They long to be together as soon as they can.

And they will be. Very, very soon.

Have you tried going on a blind date?

I did. Twice. I remember the first one was in high school. I actually know the guy but I didn’t know it would be him that my friends were setting me up with. When I saw him, I immediately shut down. Sure, I like the guy. But then I had no intention of dating him. When he sensed that I didn’t like the setup, he, too, shut down. We never did get to talk about anything. It was really a childish thing to do and I still cringe to this day when I remember it.

The second one turned out to be a friendly dinner only. It was a double date that my friend and her boyfriend set up. We didn’t have anything in common but I must say that I enjoyed the night laughing at his jokes.

There will be no third time for me. Thank you very much.

LOL

Take the plunge. They said that if you don’t take risks, it’s like you are living on the sideline, letting life pass you by.

It’s scary. I am one of those people who are not big risks-taker. I’m scared of failing. I’m scared of leaving my comfort zone. I am not an adventurous person. And when I know that with the risk I’d take my family will get affected, I won’t gamble on it.

I took the plunge one time. I took the risk. I fell in love with the wrong guy. I knew it. I knew it was wrong, that it wouldn’t amount to anything in the long run. But I took the risk… and failed. Big time! From then on, I stopped. It’s not worth it. I caused heartache to my mom then and I wouldn’t want to do that again to my family.

Take the plunge but be prepared for the consequences.

Men can be sweet when they want to. They can even be thoughtful and caring if they put their minds to it. I know this for a fact because I grew up with men. Male cousins, young uncles, even male friends. I was “used” in courting neighborhood girls and even schoolmates. These men would tell me to say a kind word here and there to the girl who’s become my friend already from constant hounding on my part.

When I “report” back to the men, they would converge and talk about things. And I would hear how they could be sweet and caring and devoted even.

But most men do not even exert an effort to try and be one.

A friend of mine once dated a co-worker of hers. It was all hush-hush because they are on the same department. Worse, she’s the head of the department and her date was one of the staff. Needless to say, this was food for the grapevine and my friend didn’t want to be the one feeding them.

But she was so in love with the guy and the two became lovers. Within weeks of being together, their actions spoke louder than words. Every one in the office started talking. The guy is handsome and the focus of many a women’s fantasies in the office. Naturally, my friend got the flak she didn’t deserve.

Slowly, photos of the two of them in compromising acts were being leaked to the company’s intranet. Photos that were photoshopped. To this day, my friend was not able to trace who the perpetrators were. So anyway, my friend’s bosses were not amused by the gossip. They want her to end the relationship and act as a boss once and for all. She weighed everything and came to one conclusion: she loved her work more than the guy. She broke up with him. But the guy didn’t take it well…

*to be continued…

I have gathered something about office dating that I will post in a day or two. This hits close to home because a friend of mine had the same experience a couple of years ago. Dated a co-worker. A subordinate, in fact. It was the food that fed the grapevine for almost a year! Until my friend realized the mistake of it all. But by that time, the consequence of what she entered into was blown out of proportion. Hit the fan!

Anyway, the article that I read reminded me of that time. I will tell you more in my next post.

Stay tuned.

There is no perfect person in this world. I doubt if you will find one. We just have to learn to accept and live with the imperfections of the one we love that’s why we find him or her perfect in our eyes.

I am not perfect. I have very minimal quirks that you won’t even realize it’s there

Happy Monday everyone!

Love does not hurt. It should never have to hurt. I heard this from Oprah, in that episode where they discussed what happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna. The infamous hitting incident between the two R&B superstars have been discussed thoroughly in different shows, mostly inviting experts to comment on it, analyze what really happened.

Personally, I think that both Chris Brown and Rihanna should be counseled about what happened. It is being reported that the two are back together again. What does this situation teach young people out there? That it’s okay to get back to the person who hit you? To forgive, yes. Forgiving the person who has done you wrong is good. But to actually go back to him, welcome him with open arms after almost killing you…

Remember this always… love doesn’t have to hurt. Ever!