Solitude

I am currently listening to one of my favorite songs of all time… Take It Away by Lou Pardini. I love Lou’s voice! Almost all his songs I know by heart. Once upon a time, I lived each day with What Might Have Been…

Someone I know broke up with her boyfriend of four years. The only reason was that they were drifting apart and since they both didn’t want things to end badly for them, they decided to end their relationship on their own terms, when they felt like they were still happy with each other. Bitterness was something they didn’t want to creep in their hearts. And I salute them for doing it.

But years later, when they met again and the guy was already engaged, they realized how much they still love each other. There were so many what might have beens in their minds and hearts. What might have happened had they held on and worked things out. What might have been if they decided to meet earlier, not when he’s already engaged to someone else…

The guy ended up not marrying the one he’s engaged to. He just had so powerful feelings for the one he broke up with and he just couldn’t fool himself into believing he can finally forget her.

A year passed and guess what? They ended up meeting once again, talking things out. They agreed to give their relationship another go.

They have been married for eight years now. Blessed with two kids. Happier than ever.

I wish I could have had the same ending…

There are nights when you want to snuggle with someone but since you are single, you are left with either your pillows or your pet dog. I know that for a fact. On cold nights, or when I feel sick, I wish there’s someone with whom I can snuggle with. Or someone who can provide me warmth even for a while.

That is the struggle with being single. Single women out there, admit it! You feel longings that any normal human being feels. I am content with being single. But I am honest enough to admit that, yes, there are days when I feel like a man can do a whole world of good to me. Even for that night alone.

Loneliness can be overcome. But some longings can’t.

You will know when you really love someone when you want him to be happy even if his or her happiness means you are not a part of it.
- Unknown

I fell in love with a man who I thought was free to love me. Thank goodness it took me only a couple of months to realize that he wasn’t free at all. He was deeply committed to someone else. And there was a child in the middle of us all.

I was so in love with the guy that there was a war going on inside me… do I let him go or fight for him? I did the former. If there was not a child involved, I would have fought for him. But the child made me see things differently. It was not easy, letting him go. But the decision was made easily.

His happiness lies in his child. And the child’s future lies with her father. I would never take that away from anyone, least of all someone I loved.

No, it doesn’t make me cry but it makes me sooo sleepy! It rained this afternoon and the weather got cooler. I love it! I just had my power nap and I am ready to tackle any task head on. Come on, give it to me!

I went out alone today to run some errands. You know what I love about traveling alone? It is the freedom to do things at your own pace and not have to worry about your companion. I went out for a little over two hours. It was quick and I was able to find peace and quiet being alone aboard the vehicle.

I love Tuesdays. This is the day I usually go out to run errands or just to be by myself. Tuesday is my ME time.

How about you?

I find it hilarious who my friend reacted when I told her that it is becoming a habit of mine to eat lunch alone when I am in the office. She was appalled and I could just see it in her eyes how pitiful it sounded to her.

It might have been really pitiful, especially for those who are used to being surrounded by people. I normally eat lunch with a bunch of people in the office. But I always drown out their senseless chatter, gossiping about the very people they work with.

And then I tried eating lunch alone and it brought me so much peace. Now, I am thinking of ways on how to avoid those people and spend some peaceful time alone.

Do you think eating lunch alone is pitiful?

I love walking under the sun. It is definitely not good for my skin but it is good for my soul. I just love feeling the heat suffuse my body, feeling like it is God’s love enveloping me in its warmth. It is always a blessing to feel the warmth of the morning sun. I feel that way personally.

Yes, it would have been better to walk with someone, holding his hand. But if there really isn’t someone for me, then so be it. I am alone but never lonely. He is with me all the time.