Solitude

Cousin Ella dropped by my office and told me she told me that she’s working at a nearby office, formulating campaigns for spa filter. I admire this person. Not only because she is my cousin but because I see her really working hard for her two kids. She’s a single mom, her husband abandoned her and their kids three years ago for another woman. She’s become a mom and a dad since then and I haven’t heard her complain. Not once.

I know that whatever she does will give her success because she’s putting her heart and soul into it. And she’s doing everything for her kids.

I feel like being by my lonesome tonight. Some cocktails for me. Good music playing softly, a soothing buzz from others’ conversations.

I don’t always want my family and friends around me. I don’t always want every one talking to me. There are days when being alone is best. Trust me, you need a day when you can hear yourself think. You need a day of solitude.

I remember the pitying looks I got from former co-workers whenever they saw me eating lunch by myself. They would go out of their way to invite me to eat lunch with them. I go out of my way to avoid them. I’d rather eat lunch by myself and feel the peace and quiet around me, than be surrounded by people I didn’t like at all and their needless chatter.

Yes, a solitary day is still the best from time to time.

I know that I can sleep soundly at night if I finally complete all the pending items on my list. One of the items is to get a life insurance. I’ve been postponing this item because I haven’t gotten a satisfactory offer yet. But I am going to force my agent to get me good quotes already. Otherwise, I will just postpone this one again and again.

I am not good in following through. I admit that. But I do my best to finish something I started as soon as possible. Now, if only I can get hold of my agent who is really busy at the moment.

I saw photos of a former schoolmate. She and her kids were in a hotel and were swimming in the hotel pool. They were all wearing bathing suits. I felt like buying boxes of slimming pills when I saw their pictures. I also want to go swimming wearing a bathing suit! And I don’t want to look like a whale while wearing one.

I’ve been telling myself to lose weight. Walk, exercise, stop eating like there’s no tomorrow. But the temptation around me, plus my weak determination… I don’t know if I can still wear a bathing suit. Probably when I am wrinkled and gray and no one will bother to look my way.

My friend’s SD card got corrupted during the last day of our weekend out of town trip. All the pictures saved to it were lost. I told my friend that it doesn’t matter because the memories will stay. But of course it is still good to have an evidence of the trip.

My sisters and I are going back there. As a precaution, we will be bringing with us two digital cameras as well as my sister’s phone which has a really clear camera as well.

I am not hiding the fact that I am short in funds most of the time. Despite the fact that I am earning above average income per month, I still find myself short of funds from time to time, especially during months when there are birthday celebrations of family members.

Most of my dream travel destinations stay just that. As a dream. I’ve been vocal about my wish to go to the beach. But I can’t do that yet because of lack of funds. I can probably go there myself but where’s the fun in that? I want to go to the beach with the family or even with friends. But then it will all go back to the lack of funds.

I know that there will come a time when I will have more than enough funds to finance my travel plans. Soon.

She is crazy in love. She can’t stop talking about her man. In her stories, the man is like a hero, a prince charming, and a demigod rolled into one. I know the truth, though. He isn’t.

It’s a chronic thing, this way of worshiping the man of the day. She’s been like that for years. And when the novelty fades, she realizes what a fool she was for even saying the man’s name with a lilt in her voice. It’s a chronic love problem, in my opinion. It’s a cycle. Like right now, she’s in love once again. And the guy can do no wrong once again.

She once called me up asking if I think the guy is not just taking her for a ride. I asked her why she suddenly thought of it but she just ignored me. I told her that she thought of that because there’s something disturbing her. She just ignored me again. Fine. I do think that the guy might be a player. Another friend of ours thinks so, too. I do pray we’re both wrong. That the guy is also in love with her. She deserves to be happy. She deserves to be loved by a man who will take care of her and respect her for who she is.

But the craziness of worshiping a man needs to stop. I just don’t know how to tell her to.

A neighbor is selling their brand new car that includes a cheap auto insurance for a bargain. The reason they are doing so is because they just got their long-awaited visa grant already. The whole family will be migrating abroad in a few weeks and they are disposing of their properties now. They want to make a clean break and start their new life abroad.

If I only have enough funds with me, I would have bought some of the properties they are disposing of, including the car. I know how the family took care of everything they own so the buyers are really lucky should they be wise enough to take advantage of the bargain the family is offering. Too bad I don’t have enough with me right now.

I’m thinking that instead of enrolling at the nearby gym, I will just get a fitness equipment that we can all use at home. I was thinking that if I enroll at the gym, I will be the only one who will benefit from it. Whereas if I buy a fitness equipment, every one at home can use it. The cost will be worth it if everyone can use the equipment, don’t you think?

Three kids were suspected to have taken goods at a local grocery store. Junk foods were put inside their bags without them knowing it. Good thing the security cameras caught all that transpired in the junk food lane of the store. It showed three high school students putting the junk foods in their bags while the three kids were not looking. The store called up their parents and told them what happened while the three high school students are now being sought by the security officers of the store.

Be aware of your surroundings. Teach your kids to be alert at all times. Good thing there are security cameras around. What if there’s none? The kids would be branded as shop lifters when they are not.

Two of my friends will be going on a romantic getaway this week. Both are going to the beach with their boyfriends. I envy them! Not with going away with their boyfriends. But just going to the beach per se. I want to go to the beach but since I don’t have the budget to do so, I stay put at home.

Which is too bad because I can’t enjoy the sun. And I can’t do my fantasy of laying on the beach lounge near the shore, drinking a cold drink while reading a good book.

Sigh.

Andre will buy gold bars as a gift to his son. The latter graduated in college and Andre wants to give him something that will earn for him more in the years to come. Andre is a big fan of alternative investments. In fact, he and his wife (on his influence) have investments in precious metal. And now his son will have investment in gold bars.

Andre has been studying the rising strength of gold in the market and he believes the experts when they declared that gold won’t be decreasing in value anytime soon.

Know more about gold like what Andre did at USGoldBureau.com!

This domain almost expired yesterday. I forgot to renew it right away. Good thing that I opened my cpanel in time for me to see the expiry of this domain. I was able to renew it then and there and this blog will stay on for another year.

A few weeks ago, I was already thinking if I will continue blogging here. For some reason, the big G of the net thought of slapping this blog. I am despairing on when I can get back my PR1. I will do everything I know to get it back. I will back it with lots of prayers that the big G of the net will take pity on me one of these days.

Emotional blackmail. That’s what happened. They were supposed to be going their separate ways already but because the woman used tears, self-pity, and a subtle threat of suicide, the man was left with no choice but to stay.

I know many women, and even men, who employ emotional blackmail just to make their partners stay. I have a friend who did such a thing to make the man own up to her responsibility. It still failed and the guy walked further away from her. I do believe that in emotional blackmail, the one being blackmailed would stay but will eventually realize the sham happening.

Let go. If it’s the only thing left to do, then do so. Because if the person is yours to begin with, he or she will come back to you no matter what.